Everybody’s thankful for something this time of year: family, friends, health, a couple days off work, the news that there’s still eight episodes of Cavemen in the hopper, strike or no strike.

But the 1to1 crew is particularly thankful for a different kind of turkey: those events of the past few months that revealed companies and/or individuals who forgot/ignored/actively worked against the whole concept of “service”…and sometimes of “customer” as well.

But it’s not all one-sided. Sometimes, it may not surprise anyone to hear, the customer isn’t always right. Presenting the 2007 Turkey Shoot…

iPhonies. Yes, we’re all aware of how Apple allegedly annoyed legions of people by reducing the MSRP of the iPhone from $599 to $399 in a matter of months. But the company tried to make good by offering a $100 store credit to early purchasers of the device—although some of the rules and regulations to realize that credit were a bit tortuous.

No, the turkeys here are those very same early adopters, the folks who apparently grew jealous of all the news coverage given to people waiting for days or weeks for the new video game or Star Wars movie to be released. “I was 27th in line at my AT&T store on the first day!” chirped one guy who didn’t even see the reason for the rebate. I hope the 26 earlier-risers showed him the appropriate level of scorn and disdain, although they all come off as distinctly gallinaceous.

The JetBlues. I’ve been on airplanes for nine hours before, but always, you know, in the air. Such was famously not the case on February 14, when a JFK-to-Cancun flight sat on the tarmac for nearly nine hours thanks to a snowstorm. Nine other planes were similarly stranded; thanks to an utter absence of interline agreements, JetBlue couldn’t accommodate its passengers on other airlines.

What it could offer was a complete absence of heat, no food, and overflowing restrooms, depending on your flight. Four days later the airline was still canceling flights, and all told lost something in the neighborhood of $25 million.

But a potentially huge black eye has been mostly overcome, thanks in large part to JetBlue’s well-publicized “Customer Bill of Rights,” which promises vouchers of varying value in the event of delays, and even free movies in some cases. So with winter just around the corner, all you happy travelers may be able to look forward to not having to pay for Mr. Woodcock as you sit around, wondering what turkey booked this flight. Enjoy!

Sprint: It’s not me, it’s you. “Firing” over 1,000 customers that it considered “high maintenance” – defined here as someone who calls customer service more than 40 times a month – was applauded by many outside executives, although Sprint’s PR department’s fumbling of the announcement left a lot of people scratching their heads over just who the turkey was here. The true turkeys are, of course, those high-maintenance callers. Honestly, unless you’re a 14-year-old girl, have you ever called someone over 40 times in a 30-day period? If so, you may need to examine your giblets.

Comcastic! As my colleague Mila D’Antonio related in a recent post, 75-year-old Mona Shaw of Manassas, Virginia took matters into her own hands when a Comcast technician arrived at her home two days after scheduled, then failed to complete the job of installing her phone, Internet, and cable service. She and her husband went to their local Comcast office, where they waited for two hours to speak to a manager before being told the manager had left for the day.

If Mona had a hammer, she’d hammer in the morning, she’d hammer in the evening ... all over this land. Well, Mona did have a hammer, and in her words, “I smashed a keyboard, knocked over a monitor … and I went to hit the telephone. I figured, ‘Hey, my telephone is screwed up, so is yours.’”

Mona ended up with a three-month suspended sentence, a $345 fine, and a year-long restraining order from visiting the Comcasties again. She also earned the undying love and respect of untold thousands for plucking this particular turkey.

Slam-Dunked. In a move designed to escalate its war with Starbucks over those with a java jones, Dunkin’ Donuts announced plans to mass-market its own packaged coffee at thousands of supermarkets and big-box retailers nationwide. This news was greeted with something less than enthusiasm by DD’s franchisees, who depend on those gingerbread latte sales to help make ends meet.

The big difference between the two coffee companies is that Starbucks is corporately owned, and Dunkin’ is completely run by franchisees. Now admittedly a franchisee isn’t precisely the same thing as a customer, but the potential for a bad taste left in DD’s customers’ mouths upon learning this news still equals general turkiness, no?

Obviously these birds are all of a general feather; to enumerate individual examples of turkey-related activities in the customer space would take me well into Thursday, when I have my own turkey to contend with. But the polls are still open: send in your own turkey tales, and we can all enjoy roasting them over an open fire.

By Kevin Zimmerman on November 20, 2007